SIDE CHICK B£ATS WIFE FOR COMING TO HER HOUSE TO LOOK FOR HER HUSBAND

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A woman (anonymous) has been attacked by her husband's girlfriend when she tracked the man to the lady's house. According to a relative of the victim, the woman suspecting her husband was with another lady when he told her he was not coming home that evening, trailed him to the house of a particular lady she believed he was having an affair with. The relative said the victim met the suspected lady, who told her that her husband was asleep when she asked about him. Explaining further, the relative indicated that the victim said she saw the lady opening the door all of a sudden, striking her with a stick on her face and subsequently beating her till she went into comma. The victim's in-laws are said to have visited her and pleaded that the matter be settled at home, explaining that she was at fault for going to the culprit's house without her permission. Are the in-laws right?

WHEN SORRY IN MARRIAGE BECOMES A POISON RATHER THAN A MEDICINE

Whosoever can easily say sorry when he or she is wrong is a strong and humble person. But whosoever says sorry when he or she is not wrong is neither strong nor humble because humility is not humiliation. People who say sorry when they're not wrong most times are not happy inwardly. They only say sorry in order to appease their partner who is obviously wrong. Where there is a huge misunderstanding and you say sorry for what you didn't do wrong just to save your relationship momentarily, this is understandable but it doesn't make it right neither should it become a norm or marital doctrine. Always saying sorry when you are not wrong will enslave you, destroy your sense of reasoning and ultimately makes your partner have wrong impression of himself or herself.

Christian virtue demands that a man should be sorry when he is wrong not to be told sorry when he is wrong. Marriage is more of a friendship relationship than boss and subordinate union. Even when you have a slave serving you, they shouldn't be subject to apologizing when they are not wrong. It will puncture their self-esteem at long run. It is wrong to force even our children to apologize to us when we are wrong. Strong parents will rather say "I'm sorry" when they wrong their children.

Scripturally and traditionally the husband is a king in marriage but his wife is not his slave.
The position of a wife is not different from that of a vice president to a president. Because responsibility laid it on her to be submissive to her husband does not make her inferior or second class citizen. Where there is genuine love, a wife does not have to always tell her husband "I'm sorry" when she is not wrong. Even though I had said sorry in few occasions as a husband when I thought I was not wrong but that is not a pattern in my marriage. But this happened when we didn't come to compromise on who was actually wrong, so as the head of the family I took the lead by making peace because I value my marriage and my wife.
I have a friend very close to me presently who is living in bondage because his wife has chronic hot temper and when she's angry the house can boil for several days and sometimes several weeks. She will never apologize except my friend makes the move. He is a pastor and to avoid talks and mockery from church members, neighbors and friends he will always go on his knees to say "I'm sorry" just to make it look like he is having a peaceful home. Because if his wife is angry, she shut down everything, e.g she stops going to church with him. He says sorry sometimes just to stop her from carrying out her threat of leaving the marriage. This is also happening because the woman is from a royal family and she is the breadwinner. Their two children had inherited that trait too.
Their 7 years old son was sent out of school because he slapped his classmate for no just cause and his teacher asked him to apologize to him but she refused. Even when the head teacher intervened he bluntly refused. His mum was invited to prevail on him to apologize but she saw no reason why her son should be humiliated and she threaten to withdraw her son from the school. The following day, he was expelled out of school. When my friend came back from his trip he was really disappointed.
Recently I advised him never to tell her sorry this time and allow her to carry out her threat for the first time. Since then she hasn't been to church neither has she say a word to him after two weeks and no peace in the family. Why was this case like this? Because that was what he started with. "Me I don't want trouble, I rather say sorry and let the trouble pass by". Unfortunately the troubles never passed by but stored up. Now she even brings up quarrel when there was no need of quarrel just because she knew oga will always come on his knees. What a pitiable marriage union.
We must train the next generation well. We must teach the boys and girls alike the essence of humility in marriage. We must not plant royalty in the man and plant slavery in the woman. They see what we do everyday and the seed will bear fruits tomorrow. Let's train our boys to be king and our girls to be queens.
Ephesians 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

By Olatunde Oluwafemi


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